Expectations as Porous as the Containers

It has been a year since my last post but in light of certain events I have decided to provide an update (I am also typing this out in a Dvorak layout as part of the "typing liberation" revolution I have declared).

Anyways, things have mainly continued in a predictable death spiral as portion sizes have steadily decreased and prices have increased. On top of that we also now pay for the cafeteria to be environmentally friendly with the new 15 cent surcharge on the bags and boxes. Any food that is even remotely liquid or sauce based will seep through the bottom like a primordial ooze depositing its lipids on its journey to your table or priceless paperwork. After getting biscuits and gravy recently (one biscuit split in half with approximately 8oz of pepper gravy for the surprisingly reasonable price of $1.19 + tax) one unfortunate co-worker, whose identity I will protect, found that the ooze soaked through 5 sheets of paper. The new cups also fail to impress as they sweat more profusely than fat guy at a Chinese buffet, you have to squeeze them just right or they slide out of your hand like a half frozen brat.

So earlier this week I went to get a loaded baked potato, everyone knows that you have to choose between the BBQ or Broccoli and Cheese slurry but not both. Assuming (incorrectly) that the cafeteria lady was aware of the protocol I ordered "everything" and to my horror she slopped the cheese all over the BBQ before I could react. I didn't say anything and allowed her to continue with her work though I had serious concerns about the mixture... she plopped some sour cream on there with chives, bacon nibblets, and cheese all stuck to it forming this flavorful mass. She then looked at me straight in the eyes and practically shouted "Good day sir!". As she said this the flimsy box was rapidly closed and thrust toward my hand and as if in slow motion the whole mass rolled off the potato onto the cutting board. We both slowly peered downwards and she opened the container back up, grabbed her knife and scrapped the gooey mess back on top, smiled, and gave me back my tater. Despite the rip off price of about $6.50 everything went better than expected.