One Takes a Stand for the Cafe...

I went in with the whole-hearted intentions of proving the masses wrong, of sticking up for the Café. This being the first time that I bought food with the intentions of commenting on service, experience, and the food itself, I went in thinking that all the disappointments experienced by previous café patrons were well embellished and lacking supportive evidence. This was, in most part, because my own previous experiences resulted in nothing even slightly resembling those documented by others.

My initial observation as I walked though the door was that I might have chosen an inopportune time to dine. The lines were terribly long, long enough to require a ten minute wait. I then realized, with the help of Jason and a few cowboy hats, that today was a special day. The cafeteria was giving free cobbler to people dressed up in cowboy/girl outfits. I quickly attributed the long lines to this singular occurrence.

Thinking about the day and deciding to abide by the Catholic traditions observed during lent, I decided what I would be ordering: Cornmeal Crusted Catfish. Upon reaching the front of the line, I quickly ordered my meal. My first thought while I was getting my food was that they had gotten it wrong. I saw the attendant slop some coleslaw-like substance into my to-go box. As soon as I saw this, I wondered how they could get it wrong, but soon enough I realized that it was coleslaw and it was included in the combo. Close call number two…

While waiting for Mintz, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted what looked to be melted cheese, and, sure enough, right next to it was broccoli. How could I pass up this opportunity? I didn’t. The next server graciously gave me the a side of broccoli covered in cheese with the most pleasant of smiles. I thought to myself: “How could people get this place so wrong?”

Upon returning to my desk, however, things turned for the worst. I opened my meal, hoping to find a delicious meal, ready to be eaten. I bit into the catfish only to find that it was fried all the way through. It was the crustiest fried fish I had ever eaten, and it only fell apart as I tried to cut it with my plastic knife. Similarly, the hush puppies served with the combo were as hard as rocks (“That’s what she said”) and unsatisfyingly dry. As I tried the coleslaw, I had nostalgic thoughts of lunches at the day care I used to attend at the young age of 4. I said to myself, “This is NASA, and they’re serving us food that a 2 year old doesn’t even like.” Hoping that the broccoli and cheese couldn’t fail, I quickly opened the container and dug in. CRAP. Cold food covered with cold cheese can only result in one thing: CRAP.

Soon enough, after realizing that around 3/4 of my meal was still sitting in front of me and I was still hungry, I knew everyone was right. There was no hope. There was only disappointment and hope that this day might have been “just one of those days” for the café.

Curly Fries Frenzy; or Running Riot of Curly Fries, if you will

I guess if you complain about the bad you have to give credit for the good. I got a TON of curly fries with my chicken strips. It must have been twice as many as normal.

No Roast Beef for you

This was one of the worst lunches I have had in a long time. It started out when all I wanted was a simple roast beef sandwhich, I saw no roast beef available but I ordered it anyways just to get the predictable response that they were out and I had to choose between Turkey or Ham. I went with the Turkey though I was not really happy about it. The lady must have noticed the disdain in my voice so she awarded me with a bonus pickle spear, which I gladly accepted. As per the usual circumstance, I was of course duped. When I opened up my my box I found a nickle sized peice of roast beef set upon my sandwhich by the crooked devil woman. Taunting me with my true desired, I flung it aside in a fit of rage. All was not lost though, I had my two pickle spears remaining. Unfortunatly for me, I found out that they had given me two pickle spears not because they felt bad for having roast beef "out of stock" (aka in the back and to lazy to go get it) but because the pickles needed to be gotten rid of because someone left them soaking in vinegar for the last three generations. They were extremely flacid and had a mild acidic taste that was foul. By the way, I also found out today that Cheddar cheese is considered an "extra" and you will gett charged more for using it instead of american cheese.. who knew.

Dr Pepper Debacle

While waiting for my food, which took around 15 minutes, I went to the soda fountain to get some Dr. Pepper. I filled up a cup and started drinking it, but the taste was off. It tasted like water with enough Dr. Pepper mix to make it about the right color. I quickly tired of the flavored water, and poured the cup out and refilled at the other Dr. Pepper machine, which produced actual Dr. Pepper. I resumed drinking that and standing around to wait for my food. When the food finally arrived, the cook called out 'Jason' and some lady grabbed my food and started walking away. I said "I think that's mine", she maintained it was hers until she actually looked at the slip to see my name, plain as day. Perhaps you could come up with some sort of system to deliver a mild electric shock to people who take the wrong order.

Feb 21st Experience

I have been asked to post my comments section of the spreadsheet as a blog so here it is:

Today was an interesting day in the cafeteria. Warning, this is a long and boring entry and for this I apologize. I will start by saying that the Deli used to have an excellent sandwhich which consisted of roast beef, lettuce, onion, and the real clincher, horseradish mayonaise. It was a specialty sandwhich and cost a whopping $5.50, I used to get it about once a week. One day I realized though, that I could instead create a "custom" sandwhich. In this scenario I would simply ask for all the same ingredients that were in the specialty sandwhich and it would only cost $3.79. Anyway apparently I was the only customer for the specialty Roast Beef and Cheddar Baguette (as they called it) because once I figured out my trick and stopped buying them at the exorbetant price, they were discontinued from the menu. The real tragedy though, was that they also stopped making the horseradish mayonaise!!! Terrible. Anyway all was not lost, I soon discovered they now had a new type of mayonaise that is refered to as "pepper mayonaise" because it has chopped up chilli peppers in it causing it to turn orange and have red chunks in it. Its pretty good. The way I discovered this was by ordering Horseradish Mayonaise (before I found out that they discontinued it) and per their nominal tactic, the cafeteria workers tried to trick me to make me go away by just slabbing the pepper mayonaise all over my sandwhich and hoping I wouldn't find out the truth until I got all the way back to my office and ate the sandwhich. Well their trick worked and I was duped, but alas, the joke was on them because I ended up enjoying this newfound fruit of egg, butter, and preservative mix. All of this is besides the point of course. The point is, when I was ordering my custom roast beef sandwhich today, I asked for some simple ingrediants: 1. Wheat Bread 2. Roast Beef 3. Pepper Mayonaise (also called Chilli Mayonaise by this particular worker) 4. Lettuce 5. Cheddar Cheese and 6. Raw Onions. You see, there are two onion options available at the Deli, chopped up red onions, and grilled white onions. When I asked for the raw onions the worker immediatly got a grin on her face, grabbed a heaping handful of the grilled, slimy, flacid, white onions and placed them in the middle of my sandwhich and then stared at me as if looking for approval. I was not amused. I said "no. Raw Onions", at which point she snickered at me as if I had caught her commiting a crime, and she proceeded to then remove the grilled onions and then place the red onions on the sandwhich. Surely they must know the difference between raw and grilled, right? Anyway the sandwhich was spared and I ended up being mostly satisfied. Of course the standard pickle spear that is provided with any sandwhich (custom or specialty) was out of stock. Mind you I arrived at precisely 11am when the cafeteria opened, like I do on most days, and yet the cafeteria management was unable to procure a days worth of pickle spears. Instead I recieved about 6 butter pickle chips, which are significantly inferior to the more vingear based pickle spears. Also, the croutons for my caesar salad were to large and dry which detracted from the taste because I was to busy crunching the massive croutons while they dried up my tongue rather than enjoying their flavor. That is all for today.

How it got Started

The premise of this blog is to document the satisfaction and more importantly the dissatisfaction that we, the JSC team, receive from our subpar, run of the mill, second-rate, middling cafeteria.

A string of events has lead to this blog’s establishment and it all comes down to a simple order of curly fries. Yes, curly fries.

Apparently curly fries are on a commonly high demand at the Johnson Space Center, because our cafeteria seems to always be out of them. Or so we are lead to believe. You see, 5 times in a row, I ordered curly fries to go with my scrumptulesant fried chicken tenders and sawmill gravy delight, but 5 times I was denied. Denied of their unique seasoning beyond the typical salt. Denied of their brilliant curl shapes that dance on the tongue. Denied of their bounty that satisfies the completeness of a fried meal. Denied happiness.

Did I get a warning I wouldn’t receive my curly fries? No. They never warn. They never warn. They only throw in regular fries and push you through the line. Push you through like you’re satisfaction is irrelevant. Sometimes they are actually out of fries, but sometimes they don’t want to share. Sometimes, I feel as if the cafeteria people keep the curly fries all to themselves. Sometimes I think they are eating my curly fries after I leave and that stings. It stings bad.

So let this blog be dedicated to the flight controllers with no curly fries. May they find justice and hope.