The Conspiracy Grows

I ate at the cafeteria every day this week, and for the most part it was pretty good. Still, no cafeteria experience comes without its price.

1. On Tuesday I got a roast beef sandwich, normally I would get the pepper (chili) mayonnaise but I was actually somewhat embarrassed for some reason to ask for it, I don't know what came over me. I decided to try a mayonnaise / spicy mustard combo, it wasn't thrilling. What was thrilling, was that I saw a couple pickle spears remaining in the bucket, a great treat no matter the occasion. As usual though, my spirits were shattered when I discovered that they combined the pickle buckets for the butter chip pickles and regular pickle spears, by simply placing the pickle spears on top of the butter chips and soaking in their distasteful juices. When I went to consume the pickle it tasted like some weird butter chip vinegar hybrid, it was so vile I could not finish it. The sandwich was still good enough though I had to scrape some of the spicy mustard off, it was simply to over powering.

2. On Wednesday I witnessed a humorous situation. Now as my experience has been, the salad dressing carafes have always been placed in metallic cylindrical canisters which were all surrounded by ice. Since a week ago, it seems they are now also putting ice in the gap between the metallic cylinders and plastic dressing carafes. Somebody probably had this bright idea, but in reality it is a terrible plan. As most of you know, I always arrive to the cafeteria promptly at 11am (when it opens) whenever possible. This means that often when I get my salad I am the first one to use the dressing for that day, so it has now become a struggle to reach back and pull the carafe out of the cylinder which is jam packed with ice, which often results in ice chips flying all over the salad buffet when it finally releases. This exact thing happened to somebody in front of me in the salad line, they grabbed the blue cheese carafe and after its forceful extrication 4 or 5 ice cubes flew into the bowl-thing which held some kind of sauce or yogurt or something, I have no idea what it was. The person stared at the cubes now tainting whatever substance was for a few seconds likely trying to decide if they should attempt to remove the cubes or hope no one noticed and move on. They chose to do the later, though I of course had noticed. I could not blame them, for I would do the same thing in this scenario, in fact, I chose to also just pass by and pretend to not notice the melting ice-sauce slowly become inedible. Ask yourself, what would you have done?

3. Finally, on Thursday I got the St. Louis Chicken wrap. This delightful wrap contains chicken, cheese, bacon, tomatoes (yuck), onions and lettuce wrapped in a flour tortilla. They also slather fat-free ranch dressing all over it (everyone knows all fat-free ranch dressings taste like mildly acidic Emler's glue) so I wasn't going to be outsmarted by the cafeteria. Or was I? It turns out I almost was, luckily a good Samaritan was watching my back. You see, I requested the dressing not be placed on the wrap to the cafeteria spy er, lady. She confirmed with me twice during the construction of the wrap that I did not want the dressing, just everything else (construction of the wrap takes approximately 45 seconds per customer). The second confirmation was just prior to her closing the wrap and I briefly turned my head to fill a small cup with jalapenos, apparently as I did so, she swiftly scooped a huge amount of fat-free ranch into her ladle and spread it all over my wrap then quickly closed it back up when I turned my head back towards her. I would have been none-the-wiser except that the guy behind me heard my pleas for no ranch and then called the cafeteria lady out on it. She laughed menacingly and then confessed, I was horrified. The guy behind me ended up getting the wrap while I waited for her to build me a new one, which this time I was not naive and I watched every step very carefully. It turned out to be quite good (bacon was a bit to chewy but acceptable)

Shifty Fridge

You see, when we are in the middle of a Joint STS/ISS mission we have little to no time for the cafeteria. Moreover, the majority of us are working bizarre night shifts which eliminates the cafeteria as an option completely. Therefore, we are essentially forced to bring in our own food.

Now, bringing in your own food is typically a healthier/cheaper option, BUT there is always the possibility of great disappointment when it becomes time to feast on your homespun meal.

Take the following for example:

We'll never know the real story, but we do know this. This refrigerator is playing tricks on flight controllers and it has to be stopped. It is systematically tearing our MPSR apart.

We must destroy this Fridge now before its to late..

Philly Cheese Please!?

Today at the cafe I placed my order at the grill. Not feeling in the mood for a burger I decided to try the Philly Cheese steak sandwich with onions, mushrooms and Curly Fries (of course). It took approximately 10 minutes for my order to be prepared and the over all quality, I would have to say was above average. It was very hot, the cheese was nice and melty and the mushrooms were an excellent choice. Also to my surprise, the curly fries that I ordered were there making the meal even better.

My only complaint would be the after taste of the meal. As I am writing this I have the lingering taste of over cooked onions and stale bread in my mouth. I did not taste this as I was eating my meal but, right now I'm not enjoying the cheese steak as much as I did when it was going down.

Smell 5/10 Just smelled like French fry grease like everything from the grill does.
Taste 8/10 During the meal 2/10 after taste
Appearance 8/10 Looked like a tasty heart attack

Overall 7.5/10 I would eat it again, but have a piece of gum ready for after. (Cost 6.21 w/ no drink)
(Not an average)

Can the Cripsy Onion BBQ Burger save the day?

The short answer is yes, yes it can. The Crispy Onion BBQ Burger is a hidden gem. We are talking two patties of beef, two cripsy onion rings, classic BBQ sauce, American cheese, all on a toasted bun.


Oh yes. Top that off with a soda of choice and some CURLY FRIES and you'll be singing the theme from Full House for the rest of the day. Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Chity Chi bob botta!

Yes, I went there.

My Tortilla is Not your Apron

The Buffalo Chicken Wrap is consistently one of the best meals offered by the cafeteria due to its sensual spiciness and crunchy home made potato chips. Overall the meal went well today, only minor complaints. While making my wrap, I was asked if I wanted any dressing (meaning ranch or blue cheese), and I declined as I despise blue cheese dressing. The building of the wrap went as planned, however, the cafeteria lady had a deposit of blue cheese dressing on her gloves. Unfortunately, this was transfered to the tortilla shell of my wrap due to smudging as she rolled it up. Was it really necessary to wipe the excess slime off of her glove on my food instead of elsewhere? This was severely disappointing. Other than that the croutons for my salad had to many herbal elements and gave a strange flavor upon biting into them. The croutons add an exciting element to every day salad making because you never know what stale or expired bread the cafeteria made them out of. I would not discount the possibility of the croutons being spiked with oregano or other potent herbs to offset the stale or moldy flavor that the croutons might normally possess should they go unmodified. I will pay closer attention them in the weeks to come. In the end the experience was acceptable and I will continue to buy this fantastic "international meal"

Only When I'm Picking Up a Sandwich for Paul...

So today I had my first "bad" experience with the JSC cafe when I went to go pick up sandwiches for me and Paul. I generally only go to the Deli and get a turkey sandwich on wheat with spicy mustard, provalone, bacon, and lettuce. Since this is how I verbally order the sandwich we can easily follow the progression of Deli mishaps.

The first thing the Deli worker says to me after I place my order is "no wheat." What? I can understand that wheat bread is probably the most common bread order they receive, but to be completely out? Go steal some from the building 3 cafe. So I reluctantly ask for white bread, because we all know rye is disgusting, and she proceeds to cut slices off of the loaf. While I applaud her commitment to go above and beyond when her cafe doesn't provide her with wheat and/or sliced bread, I must say she slices bread about as well as a lazy-eyed 4th grader. With palsy.

Now that the bread is taken care of she moves onto the next part of my order, the spicy mustard. She decided to go ahead and use the spreader that she had handy. But this was no ordinary spreader. This was the mayonaise-covered spreader of doom. There is a time and a place for mayonaise, namely in creating ranch dressing, but that place is not on my sandwich. I cringed and pressed on.

The first two events were really just inconveniences, but the next thing she did just angered me. What was next? That's right: provalone. She peels off the top of the provalone stack what can best be described as a nearly whole piece of cheese stuck to a half piece of cheese stuck to a smaller, maybe quater piece of cheese. She makes an effort to separate them, which I can understand, we don't need them running out of provalone as well as wheat, but she quickly gives up and goes to put it all on my sandwich (VICTORY!). The problem is I celebrated too early. As she puts the cheese mass on my sandwich, the smallest piece comes off. Now as I see it she has two logical options: 1) put the cheese back on my sandwich, or 2) put the cheese back into the original cheese pile. She chose option 3) throw it away. I was awestruck. She chose to throw away perfectly good cheese rather than leave it on my sandwich...

All of this would ONLY happen when I'm also picking up a sandwich for Paul. And of course, Paul's sandwich came fine except for the "too many sprigs of oregano."

THIS JUST IN:
Paul's oregano turned out to be cilantro...