One Takes a Stand for the Cafe...

I went in with the whole-hearted intentions of proving the masses wrong, of sticking up for the Café. This being the first time that I bought food with the intentions of commenting on service, experience, and the food itself, I went in thinking that all the disappointments experienced by previous café patrons were well embellished and lacking supportive evidence. This was, in most part, because my own previous experiences resulted in nothing even slightly resembling those documented by others.

My initial observation as I walked though the door was that I might have chosen an inopportune time to dine. The lines were terribly long, long enough to require a ten minute wait. I then realized, with the help of Jason and a few cowboy hats, that today was a special day. The cafeteria was giving free cobbler to people dressed up in cowboy/girl outfits. I quickly attributed the long lines to this singular occurrence.

Thinking about the day and deciding to abide by the Catholic traditions observed during lent, I decided what I would be ordering: Cornmeal Crusted Catfish. Upon reaching the front of the line, I quickly ordered my meal. My first thought while I was getting my food was that they had gotten it wrong. I saw the attendant slop some coleslaw-like substance into my to-go box. As soon as I saw this, I wondered how they could get it wrong, but soon enough I realized that it was coleslaw and it was included in the combo. Close call number two…

While waiting for Mintz, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted what looked to be melted cheese, and, sure enough, right next to it was broccoli. How could I pass up this opportunity? I didn’t. The next server graciously gave me the a side of broccoli covered in cheese with the most pleasant of smiles. I thought to myself: “How could people get this place so wrong?”

Upon returning to my desk, however, things turned for the worst. I opened my meal, hoping to find a delicious meal, ready to be eaten. I bit into the catfish only to find that it was fried all the way through. It was the crustiest fried fish I had ever eaten, and it only fell apart as I tried to cut it with my plastic knife. Similarly, the hush puppies served with the combo were as hard as rocks (“That’s what she said”) and unsatisfyingly dry. As I tried the coleslaw, I had nostalgic thoughts of lunches at the day care I used to attend at the young age of 4. I said to myself, “This is NASA, and they’re serving us food that a 2 year old doesn’t even like.” Hoping that the broccoli and cheese couldn’t fail, I quickly opened the container and dug in. CRAP. Cold food covered with cold cheese can only result in one thing: CRAP.

Soon enough, after realizing that around 3/4 of my meal was still sitting in front of me and I was still hungry, I knew everyone was right. There was no hope. There was only disappointment and hope that this day might have been “just one of those days” for the café.