Black Pepper Mayonaise

So yesterday I went to the cafeteria bldg 3 and I was immediately disappointed when there was a sign on the International Meals section that said there was no international meal today but to return the next day. There was no explanation as to why, so I was force to just accept the sign's declaration. As usual, the regular chef's feature's options were not satisfying, so I had to choose between the Deli and the insanely slow grill. I selected the deli, and decided I would try one of their new specialty sandwiches, the Parmigano Peppercorn Roast Beef Ciabata. It boasted succulent roast beef, lettuce, romano tomatoes, caramelized onions and of course the deluxe black pepper mayonnaise all on a premium ciabata bun. This sounded great to me (hold the tomatoes) so I went for it. Well my hopes quickly turned to a nightmare when she split my ciabata bun and began spreading regular run-of-the-mill mayonaise all over my ciabata bun. Internally I was full of angst and decided whether to unleash my rage verbally or just observe and deliberate my options further. Well, I should not be surprised, but after spreading the mayonaise she grabbed a standard peppershaker and sprinkled about 5 shakes all over the maynoise she had just spread. Hence, the black pepper mayonnaise, which ironically is just what they had advertised though it was a complete deception to what the average customer would expect. I just shook my head in disbelief, I could not complain because I got exactly what was written on the walls, it was very pathetic. So remember my friends, do not be tricked by the cafeteria, if they offer black pepper mayonnaise that is what you will get, mayonnaise sprinkled with table pepper.

Chicken Caesar Wrap

I was glad to see the Bucks made a post Saturday as I suddenly had the urge to also update the blog with an experience I had back on Tuesday October 7th. You see, Christopher Rasnick was getting a Chicken Caesar wrap at the Deli and I was right behind him trying to decide what to get myself. Nothing was particularly striking my fancy so I was intrigued by his selection of the Chicken Caesar Wrap, it did look pretty good and since I hadn't tried it I thought I would give it a go. Well, all I did was simply tell the Deli lady that all I wanted was the exact same thing she just made for Rasnick. So of course the first question she asks is, "What kind of tortilla do you want on the wrap?".
Clearly I was mis-understood, so I repeated myself "Exactly whatever kind the last guy had"
She replies "Well he had a wheat wrap and normally we give a flour wrap"

I answer "Ok well then I will also have a wheat wrap"

As the lady is pulling the wheat wrap out of the bag it gets about a 1 inch tear in the tortilla (its about a 12" tortilla in diameter) and she looked at it and pondered it for a few seconds. Quick as lighting she made up her mind and crumpled the whole thing up and threw it right in the trash, though I would have gladly accepted the slightly flawed tortilla. Anyway she then goes back into the bag to retrieve another wheat tortilla, and big surprise, it is the last one in the bag. Initially I am thinking that its my lucky day, but alas, this tortilla is far more damaged than the previous one, likely due to it being on the bottom of the bag for its whole life. I think I saw the lady smirk with a glint of joy for a moment as she crumpled that one up also and threw it in the trash. Then she just looked at me and said "Guess your gettin' flour"

Where is my CHICKEN!?

I'm pissed.

Why do I pay the same price for the Fried Chicken Tenders with fries now that I get HALF, thats right HALF, the chicken that we used to get???

This was the ultimate comfort grill meal and it's been cut down to nothing.

This is a sad time for NASA folk everywhere.

The Conspiracy Grows

I ate at the cafeteria every day this week, and for the most part it was pretty good. Still, no cafeteria experience comes without its price.

1. On Tuesday I got a roast beef sandwich, normally I would get the pepper (chili) mayonnaise but I was actually somewhat embarrassed for some reason to ask for it, I don't know what came over me. I decided to try a mayonnaise / spicy mustard combo, it wasn't thrilling. What was thrilling, was that I saw a couple pickle spears remaining in the bucket, a great treat no matter the occasion. As usual though, my spirits were shattered when I discovered that they combined the pickle buckets for the butter chip pickles and regular pickle spears, by simply placing the pickle spears on top of the butter chips and soaking in their distasteful juices. When I went to consume the pickle it tasted like some weird butter chip vinegar hybrid, it was so vile I could not finish it. The sandwich was still good enough though I had to scrape some of the spicy mustard off, it was simply to over powering.

2. On Wednesday I witnessed a humorous situation. Now as my experience has been, the salad dressing carafes have always been placed in metallic cylindrical canisters which were all surrounded by ice. Since a week ago, it seems they are now also putting ice in the gap between the metallic cylinders and plastic dressing carafes. Somebody probably had this bright idea, but in reality it is a terrible plan. As most of you know, I always arrive to the cafeteria promptly at 11am (when it opens) whenever possible. This means that often when I get my salad I am the first one to use the dressing for that day, so it has now become a struggle to reach back and pull the carafe out of the cylinder which is jam packed with ice, which often results in ice chips flying all over the salad buffet when it finally releases. This exact thing happened to somebody in front of me in the salad line, they grabbed the blue cheese carafe and after its forceful extrication 4 or 5 ice cubes flew into the bowl-thing which held some kind of sauce or yogurt or something, I have no idea what it was. The person stared at the cubes now tainting whatever substance was for a few seconds likely trying to decide if they should attempt to remove the cubes or hope no one noticed and move on. They chose to do the later, though I of course had noticed. I could not blame them, for I would do the same thing in this scenario, in fact, I chose to also just pass by and pretend to not notice the melting ice-sauce slowly become inedible. Ask yourself, what would you have done?

3. Finally, on Thursday I got the St. Louis Chicken wrap. This delightful wrap contains chicken, cheese, bacon, tomatoes (yuck), onions and lettuce wrapped in a flour tortilla. They also slather fat-free ranch dressing all over it (everyone knows all fat-free ranch dressings taste like mildly acidic Emler's glue) so I wasn't going to be outsmarted by the cafeteria. Or was I? It turns out I almost was, luckily a good Samaritan was watching my back. You see, I requested the dressing not be placed on the wrap to the cafeteria spy er, lady. She confirmed with me twice during the construction of the wrap that I did not want the dressing, just everything else (construction of the wrap takes approximately 45 seconds per customer). The second confirmation was just prior to her closing the wrap and I briefly turned my head to fill a small cup with jalapenos, apparently as I did so, she swiftly scooped a huge amount of fat-free ranch into her ladle and spread it all over my wrap then quickly closed it back up when I turned my head back towards her. I would have been none-the-wiser except that the guy behind me heard my pleas for no ranch and then called the cafeteria lady out on it. She laughed menacingly and then confessed, I was horrified. The guy behind me ended up getting the wrap while I waited for her to build me a new one, which this time I was not naive and I watched every step very carefully. It turned out to be quite good (bacon was a bit to chewy but acceptable)

Shifty Fridge

You see, when we are in the middle of a Joint STS/ISS mission we have little to no time for the cafeteria. Moreover, the majority of us are working bizarre night shifts which eliminates the cafeteria as an option completely. Therefore, we are essentially forced to bring in our own food.

Now, bringing in your own food is typically a healthier/cheaper option, BUT there is always the possibility of great disappointment when it becomes time to feast on your homespun meal.

Take the following for example:

We'll never know the real story, but we do know this. This refrigerator is playing tricks on flight controllers and it has to be stopped. It is systematically tearing our MPSR apart.

We must destroy this Fridge now before its to late..

Philly Cheese Please!?

Today at the cafe I placed my order at the grill. Not feeling in the mood for a burger I decided to try the Philly Cheese steak sandwich with onions, mushrooms and Curly Fries (of course). It took approximately 10 minutes for my order to be prepared and the over all quality, I would have to say was above average. It was very hot, the cheese was nice and melty and the mushrooms were an excellent choice. Also to my surprise, the curly fries that I ordered were there making the meal even better.

My only complaint would be the after taste of the meal. As I am writing this I have the lingering taste of over cooked onions and stale bread in my mouth. I did not taste this as I was eating my meal but, right now I'm not enjoying the cheese steak as much as I did when it was going down.

Smell 5/10 Just smelled like French fry grease like everything from the grill does.
Taste 8/10 During the meal 2/10 after taste
Appearance 8/10 Looked like a tasty heart attack

Overall 7.5/10 I would eat it again, but have a piece of gum ready for after. (Cost 6.21 w/ no drink)
(Not an average)

Can the Cripsy Onion BBQ Burger save the day?

The short answer is yes, yes it can. The Crispy Onion BBQ Burger is a hidden gem. We are talking two patties of beef, two cripsy onion rings, classic BBQ sauce, American cheese, all on a toasted bun.


Oh yes. Top that off with a soda of choice and some CURLY FRIES and you'll be singing the theme from Full House for the rest of the day. Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Chity Chi bob botta!

Yes, I went there.

My Tortilla is Not your Apron

The Buffalo Chicken Wrap is consistently one of the best meals offered by the cafeteria due to its sensual spiciness and crunchy home made potato chips. Overall the meal went well today, only minor complaints. While making my wrap, I was asked if I wanted any dressing (meaning ranch or blue cheese), and I declined as I despise blue cheese dressing. The building of the wrap went as planned, however, the cafeteria lady had a deposit of blue cheese dressing on her gloves. Unfortunately, this was transfered to the tortilla shell of my wrap due to smudging as she rolled it up. Was it really necessary to wipe the excess slime off of her glove on my food instead of elsewhere? This was severely disappointing. Other than that the croutons for my salad had to many herbal elements and gave a strange flavor upon biting into them. The croutons add an exciting element to every day salad making because you never know what stale or expired bread the cafeteria made them out of. I would not discount the possibility of the croutons being spiked with oregano or other potent herbs to offset the stale or moldy flavor that the croutons might normally possess should they go unmodified. I will pay closer attention them in the weeks to come. In the end the experience was acceptable and I will continue to buy this fantastic "international meal"

Only When I'm Picking Up a Sandwich for Paul...

So today I had my first "bad" experience with the JSC cafe when I went to go pick up sandwiches for me and Paul. I generally only go to the Deli and get a turkey sandwich on wheat with spicy mustard, provalone, bacon, and lettuce. Since this is how I verbally order the sandwich we can easily follow the progression of Deli mishaps.

The first thing the Deli worker says to me after I place my order is "no wheat." What? I can understand that wheat bread is probably the most common bread order they receive, but to be completely out? Go steal some from the building 3 cafe. So I reluctantly ask for white bread, because we all know rye is disgusting, and she proceeds to cut slices off of the loaf. While I applaud her commitment to go above and beyond when her cafe doesn't provide her with wheat and/or sliced bread, I must say she slices bread about as well as a lazy-eyed 4th grader. With palsy.

Now that the bread is taken care of she moves onto the next part of my order, the spicy mustard. She decided to go ahead and use the spreader that she had handy. But this was no ordinary spreader. This was the mayonaise-covered spreader of doom. There is a time and a place for mayonaise, namely in creating ranch dressing, but that place is not on my sandwich. I cringed and pressed on.

The first two events were really just inconveniences, but the next thing she did just angered me. What was next? That's right: provalone. She peels off the top of the provalone stack what can best be described as a nearly whole piece of cheese stuck to a half piece of cheese stuck to a smaller, maybe quater piece of cheese. She makes an effort to separate them, which I can understand, we don't need them running out of provalone as well as wheat, but she quickly gives up and goes to put it all on my sandwich (VICTORY!). The problem is I celebrated too early. As she puts the cheese mass on my sandwich, the smallest piece comes off. Now as I see it she has two logical options: 1) put the cheese back on my sandwich, or 2) put the cheese back into the original cheese pile. She chose option 3) throw it away. I was awestruck. She chose to throw away perfectly good cheese rather than leave it on my sandwich...

All of this would ONLY happen when I'm also picking up a sandwich for Paul. And of course, Paul's sandwich came fine except for the "too many sprigs of oregano."

THIS JUST IN:
Paul's oregano turned out to be cilantro...

One Takes a Stand for the Cafe...

I went in with the whole-hearted intentions of proving the masses wrong, of sticking up for the Café. This being the first time that I bought food with the intentions of commenting on service, experience, and the food itself, I went in thinking that all the disappointments experienced by previous café patrons were well embellished and lacking supportive evidence. This was, in most part, because my own previous experiences resulted in nothing even slightly resembling those documented by others.

My initial observation as I walked though the door was that I might have chosen an inopportune time to dine. The lines were terribly long, long enough to require a ten minute wait. I then realized, with the help of Jason and a few cowboy hats, that today was a special day. The cafeteria was giving free cobbler to people dressed up in cowboy/girl outfits. I quickly attributed the long lines to this singular occurrence.

Thinking about the day and deciding to abide by the Catholic traditions observed during lent, I decided what I would be ordering: Cornmeal Crusted Catfish. Upon reaching the front of the line, I quickly ordered my meal. My first thought while I was getting my food was that they had gotten it wrong. I saw the attendant slop some coleslaw-like substance into my to-go box. As soon as I saw this, I wondered how they could get it wrong, but soon enough I realized that it was coleslaw and it was included in the combo. Close call number two…

While waiting for Mintz, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted what looked to be melted cheese, and, sure enough, right next to it was broccoli. How could I pass up this opportunity? I didn’t. The next server graciously gave me the a side of broccoli covered in cheese with the most pleasant of smiles. I thought to myself: “How could people get this place so wrong?”

Upon returning to my desk, however, things turned for the worst. I opened my meal, hoping to find a delicious meal, ready to be eaten. I bit into the catfish only to find that it was fried all the way through. It was the crustiest fried fish I had ever eaten, and it only fell apart as I tried to cut it with my plastic knife. Similarly, the hush puppies served with the combo were as hard as rocks (“That’s what she said”) and unsatisfyingly dry. As I tried the coleslaw, I had nostalgic thoughts of lunches at the day care I used to attend at the young age of 4. I said to myself, “This is NASA, and they’re serving us food that a 2 year old doesn’t even like.” Hoping that the broccoli and cheese couldn’t fail, I quickly opened the container and dug in. CRAP. Cold food covered with cold cheese can only result in one thing: CRAP.

Soon enough, after realizing that around 3/4 of my meal was still sitting in front of me and I was still hungry, I knew everyone was right. There was no hope. There was only disappointment and hope that this day might have been “just one of those days” for the café.

Curly Fries Frenzy; or Running Riot of Curly Fries, if you will

I guess if you complain about the bad you have to give credit for the good. I got a TON of curly fries with my chicken strips. It must have been twice as many as normal.

No Roast Beef for you

This was one of the worst lunches I have had in a long time. It started out when all I wanted was a simple roast beef sandwhich, I saw no roast beef available but I ordered it anyways just to get the predictable response that they were out and I had to choose between Turkey or Ham. I went with the Turkey though I was not really happy about it. The lady must have noticed the disdain in my voice so she awarded me with a bonus pickle spear, which I gladly accepted. As per the usual circumstance, I was of course duped. When I opened up my my box I found a nickle sized peice of roast beef set upon my sandwhich by the crooked devil woman. Taunting me with my true desired, I flung it aside in a fit of rage. All was not lost though, I had my two pickle spears remaining. Unfortunatly for me, I found out that they had given me two pickle spears not because they felt bad for having roast beef "out of stock" (aka in the back and to lazy to go get it) but because the pickles needed to be gotten rid of because someone left them soaking in vinegar for the last three generations. They were extremely flacid and had a mild acidic taste that was foul. By the way, I also found out today that Cheddar cheese is considered an "extra" and you will gett charged more for using it instead of american cheese.. who knew.

Dr Pepper Debacle

While waiting for my food, which took around 15 minutes, I went to the soda fountain to get some Dr. Pepper. I filled up a cup and started drinking it, but the taste was off. It tasted like water with enough Dr. Pepper mix to make it about the right color. I quickly tired of the flavored water, and poured the cup out and refilled at the other Dr. Pepper machine, which produced actual Dr. Pepper. I resumed drinking that and standing around to wait for my food. When the food finally arrived, the cook called out 'Jason' and some lady grabbed my food and started walking away. I said "I think that's mine", she maintained it was hers until she actually looked at the slip to see my name, plain as day. Perhaps you could come up with some sort of system to deliver a mild electric shock to people who take the wrong order.

Feb 21st Experience

I have been asked to post my comments section of the spreadsheet as a blog so here it is:

Today was an interesting day in the cafeteria. Warning, this is a long and boring entry and for this I apologize. I will start by saying that the Deli used to have an excellent sandwhich which consisted of roast beef, lettuce, onion, and the real clincher, horseradish mayonaise. It was a specialty sandwhich and cost a whopping $5.50, I used to get it about once a week. One day I realized though, that I could instead create a "custom" sandwhich. In this scenario I would simply ask for all the same ingredients that were in the specialty sandwhich and it would only cost $3.79. Anyway apparently I was the only customer for the specialty Roast Beef and Cheddar Baguette (as they called it) because once I figured out my trick and stopped buying them at the exorbetant price, they were discontinued from the menu. The real tragedy though, was that they also stopped making the horseradish mayonaise!!! Terrible. Anyway all was not lost, I soon discovered they now had a new type of mayonaise that is refered to as "pepper mayonaise" because it has chopped up chilli peppers in it causing it to turn orange and have red chunks in it. Its pretty good. The way I discovered this was by ordering Horseradish Mayonaise (before I found out that they discontinued it) and per their nominal tactic, the cafeteria workers tried to trick me to make me go away by just slabbing the pepper mayonaise all over my sandwhich and hoping I wouldn't find out the truth until I got all the way back to my office and ate the sandwhich. Well their trick worked and I was duped, but alas, the joke was on them because I ended up enjoying this newfound fruit of egg, butter, and preservative mix. All of this is besides the point of course. The point is, when I was ordering my custom roast beef sandwhich today, I asked for some simple ingrediants: 1. Wheat Bread 2. Roast Beef 3. Pepper Mayonaise (also called Chilli Mayonaise by this particular worker) 4. Lettuce 5. Cheddar Cheese and 6. Raw Onions. You see, there are two onion options available at the Deli, chopped up red onions, and grilled white onions. When I asked for the raw onions the worker immediatly got a grin on her face, grabbed a heaping handful of the grilled, slimy, flacid, white onions and placed them in the middle of my sandwhich and then stared at me as if looking for approval. I was not amused. I said "no. Raw Onions", at which point she snickered at me as if I had caught her commiting a crime, and she proceeded to then remove the grilled onions and then place the red onions on the sandwhich. Surely they must know the difference between raw and grilled, right? Anyway the sandwhich was spared and I ended up being mostly satisfied. Of course the standard pickle spear that is provided with any sandwhich (custom or specialty) was out of stock. Mind you I arrived at precisely 11am when the cafeteria opened, like I do on most days, and yet the cafeteria management was unable to procure a days worth of pickle spears. Instead I recieved about 6 butter pickle chips, which are significantly inferior to the more vingear based pickle spears. Also, the croutons for my caesar salad were to large and dry which detracted from the taste because I was to busy crunching the massive croutons while they dried up my tongue rather than enjoying their flavor. That is all for today.

How it got Started

The premise of this blog is to document the satisfaction and more importantly the dissatisfaction that we, the JSC team, receive from our subpar, run of the mill, second-rate, middling cafeteria.

A string of events has lead to this blog’s establishment and it all comes down to a simple order of curly fries. Yes, curly fries.

Apparently curly fries are on a commonly high demand at the Johnson Space Center, because our cafeteria seems to always be out of them. Or so we are lead to believe. You see, 5 times in a row, I ordered curly fries to go with my scrumptulesant fried chicken tenders and sawmill gravy delight, but 5 times I was denied. Denied of their unique seasoning beyond the typical salt. Denied of their brilliant curl shapes that dance on the tongue. Denied of their bounty that satisfies the completeness of a fried meal. Denied happiness.

Did I get a warning I wouldn’t receive my curly fries? No. They never warn. They never warn. They only throw in regular fries and push you through the line. Push you through like you’re satisfaction is irrelevant. Sometimes they are actually out of fries, but sometimes they don’t want to share. Sometimes, I feel as if the cafeteria people keep the curly fries all to themselves. Sometimes I think they are eating my curly fries after I leave and that stings. It stings bad.

So let this blog be dedicated to the flight controllers with no curly fries. May they find justice and hope.